My Grandma Maikish, brother Jacob, and myself 

Sweet November...I always loved November when I was a child. I remember driving over to my grandparents home and walking in to a commotion of my grandmother cooking and my grandfather putting wood on the fire. The table would be set with the best china and silverware. There were little dishes with olives, celery with cheese spread, sweet pickles, and rolls on the table. The delicious aromas of turkey, mashed potatoes, and steamed broccoli wafted into the living room where I would play with my cousins. We would sit down and say a prayer, usually led by my dad and then the food passing would be begin.  Afterwards, the dishes would be cleared away, normally we could not eat dessert yet my grandmother would have made jello parfaits, which looked like sundaes. I never could pass on these they were delicious, whipped cream, strawberry jello and bananas.
There were also the Thanksgivings we would spend dinner with my other grandparents and my dad's side of the family. The table was always boisterous since the bunch were from the East Coast, including my late grandparents, my great uncle and my great grandmother. I enjoyed spending holidays with them too because of how comical they were and the food was always good. My great grandmother would always have a mince meat pie mixed in with the other pies and only one slice would be taken as most of us passed. My grandfather would sometimes host the dinner at a country club since he was an avid golfer and it always seemed so nice.
I come from a strong family on both sides. What made us all strong is from our family history/upbringing by the past generations. The military played a part in the upbringing too with both my grandfathers having served in the US Navy/Marine Corp. There was a certain respect for our elders and us children we were very much shown love. I believe also the foundation of faith in our family has helped all of us in one way or another. My grandmother, pictured above who is my dad's mom, had a strong faith and that laid the foundation for my own.
That faith and those many joyous occasions with the family would play a huge part in my fight with breast cancer. It all began five years ago. I was diagnosed with breast cancer a week before Thanksgiving. The surgery would take place the week of my favorite holiday. It was a dark ominous month for me. I did not want to see anyone, I wanted to take care of my son and as I fed him in his high chair I was somber. My faith, I remember reminding myself as I sat next to his crib each night,  my faith will get me through this.
November of 2012 approached, I felt the clock ticking as I got ready to celebrate one year out from my cancer diagnosis. I would not make it past the finish line. I would be diagnosed with a recurrence.
The cancer was not going to be removed and I was stunned into silence.  I was again reminded of my faith and thankful that the warm feeling which entered me as I prayed calmed me down, gave me guidance, and helped me put one foot in front of the other.
As the year progressed, the cancer subsided, my doctors assured me as time passed cancer would not be the first thing I think about each day.
Time was the answer. I also knew too that faith was key.
November of 2013 I would have surgery to remove my ovaries as the injections to stop my ovaries from working were giving me major side effects. I was warned of this and felt removing my ovaries would be a better choice since I knew having children was out of the question when hormones were the fuel for the cancer.
I was very sad after waking up from my surgery knowing my organs that made me a woman were gone. We had hoped to have more children so Patrick would have a sibling. I had dreamed of a family of four which felt more well rounded then just one child.  Yet, this was not going to come to pass. I had to put my faith in God for understanding. It was a very emotional moment in time for me.  Yet, this time I was able to enjoy Thanksgiving as the surgery was very minor compared to what I had endured the years before. It was time to live again.
Now it is November of 2016. I have been back in chemo for the past three months or so from another recurrence. This time it was discovered in August and it did not ruin my favorite holiday. In fact, I was told yesterday from my doctor the scan I received this past week is NED. I looked at my husband and said, "Isn't it nice to be going into the holiday season with this new hope, thankfulness?" He agreed and we hugged with tears in our eyes.

My Grandma Allison (mom's side) and myself

My Grandpa Allison (mom's dad) & myself

My Great Grandma Willie & brother Jacob & myself

I cannot say this is the end of my cancer journey, most doctors would warn of the high risk for the cancer to come again. Yet, we are allowed small victories in the war as each battle is won. I don't know how much time I have before we are faced again with another uncertainty but as a friend told me, "Live your life just like you have these past couple months."  It is important to keep your faith, send your troubles to God, and put one foot in front of the other.  I believe without those years with my family gatherings, getting to know and love the people in my life who had faced uncertainty before me, and having God as my foundation  then my story would be much different. I credit my heritage and my God and this Thanksgiving there is much to be happy and thankful for...Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and I do hope you go into this holiday season with a sense of faith and thankfulness.

The month of pink is over...no more pink washing. The companies who are offering to give to breast cancer research are now concentrating their efforts on the holidays. The NFL players who wore pink on the field are now back in their regular uniforms, which I think is a really great way to bring about awareness. The women who are contending with breast cancer are now cast back into the shadows until next year...however some of them will not be there.
Yes, I am thankful for all the charities, including Susan G. Komen because if it were not for these charities I shudder to think what my fate would have been five years ago this month. However....in walks November. An extension of breast cancer awareness for me and my family. This is the month that I was diagnosed not only once but twice with breast cancer.
I was originally diagnosed in November 2011 with Stage III Interductal Carcinoma, highly aggressive. The 2 cm tumor in my breast had reached 9 out of 15 lymph nodes resulting in multiple months of treatment. I would have my breast removed the week of Thanksgiving and be in the worst pain I had ever felt.
A year later in November around the same time I would be re diagnosed with a regional recurrence in my neck. I felt pain and swelling in my neck and found a large lump in my neck while out to dinner one evening. The results would come back the same cancer as before yet changed to PR positive.
I would have to endure three to four months of treatment, including neck radiation which I needed an Ativan pill for each day so I would not have a panic attack. I had to wear a mask and be locked into the table so the beam would not miss the areas intended for treatment.
A PET Scan would find the cancer had vanished and we were joyous in this news. Of course I was not that naive I knew that the cancer was only sleeping.
It is November again and here I am with no hair on my head and lethargic. I am undergoing chemo again with a PET Scan scheduled for next week to see if the treatments are working. I was re diagnosed this time in August with another regional recurrence yet maybe a spot or two in my lungs, too small to tell what they are. I am tired. I am frustrated. I am thankful for the past four years of freedom from treatment. Yet what now? The pink month is over. Yet mine still continues. The awareness grows in my body, is injected into my arm each week. The awareness comes from the bruises on my arm from the needles, from my son asking me to wear a cap so he does not have to explain why his mommy has no hair to his friends. My awareness ticks on yet will my life end in a pink river of tears? Will I see my son at his high school graduation smiling and waving at me from the podium as I cry tears of joy and victory? Will I get to meet his future wife and visit their home during the holidays? My awareness campaign does not end for the holidays..it continues as I go to have a mammogram and wait for the phone to ring or receive a letter in the mail, the letter being the better of the two. The countless prayers I mummer under my breath to God pleading for more time. The pink ribbon is only a piece of fabric held onto our clothing by a metal pin that can be taken off and put away for a year. Yet I put a wig on my head, a prosthetic in my lace bra, and take my antidepressant so my mood does not create a monster. My awareness is hearing about women my age or younger dying from this disease. I hear news each day of a 30 something year old mother and wife who had died from the disease. The pictures of the women, bald or wearing a cap holding their young children with a twinkle in their eyes, now gone. Will the companies who are taking down their signs with the pink ribbon in the corner think of them? Will they think of their families as they start to replace these signs with red and green ribbons? A passing thought truly, an epidemic has taken hold of our young women. These young children who are witnessing the strength and foundation to their youth disappear will be effected more than these companies know.  We need more. We need people to keep their ribbons up all year long..have a product dedicated solely to the cause as a reminder each day that women are dying. This is not some movie where the heroine 'beats' cancer in a battle and walks off into the sunset, many times the cancer returns and the war is lost. My November is reminder of the years ticking on and I think of each battle I wage when this war will be over. My awareness continues through December as we decorate our tree and wrap presents. My pink ribbon is my scar on my right side, I can never take it off or set it aside. It is permanent. I ask for everyone to please help me and my fellow survivors who are battling this disease each day to put forth an effort and make a donation to METAvivor. It is an organization that gives the money received to research for metastatic breast cancer. We can live our lives in a chronic state. We just need more drugs and options. I ask for you to please not put aside your pink ribbons and please keep them on each day as I have to wear this scar on my body to remind yourselves of the fight women are going through each day.
Please be sure to subscribe to my blog so you can be aware of what is happening in my life and the life of others. Also please go to www.METAvivor.org to donate now or see what you can do to help women like myself. Please save the women....