Saturday, November 12, 2016


My Grandma Maikish, brother Jacob, and myself 
Sweet November...I always loved November when I was a child. I remember driving over to my grandparents home and walking in to a commotion of my grandmother cooking and my grandfather putting wood on the fire. The table would be set with the best china and silverware. There were little dishes with olives, celery with cheese spread, sweet pickles, and rolls on the table. The delicious aromas of turkey, mashed potatoes, and steamed broccoli wafted into the living room where I would play with my cousins. We would sit down and say a prayer, usually led by my dad and then the food passing would be begin.  Afterwards, the dishes would be cleared away, normally we could not eat dessert yet my grandmother would have made jello parfaits, which looked like sundaes. I never could pass on these they were delicious, whipped cream, strawberry jello and bananas.
There were also the Thanksgivings we would spend dinner with my other grandparents and my dad's side of the family. The table was always boisterous since the bunch were from the East Coast, including my late grandparents, my great uncle and my great grandmother. I enjoyed spending holidays with them too because of how comical they were and the food was always good. My great grandmother would always have a mince meat pie mixed in with the other pies and only one slice would be taken as most of us passed. My grandfather would sometimes host the dinner at a country club since he was an avid golfer and it always seemed so nice.
I come from a strong family on both sides. What made us all strong is from our family history/upbringing by the past generations. The military played a part in the upbringing too with both my grandfathers having served in the US Navy/Marine Corp. There was a certain respect for our elders and us children we were very much shown love. I believe also the foundation of faith in our family has helped all of us in one way or another. My grandmother, pictured above who is my dad's mom, had a strong faith and that laid the foundation for my own.
That faith and those many joyous occasions with the family would play a huge part in my fight with breast cancer. It all began five years ago. I was diagnosed with breast cancer a week before Thanksgiving. The surgery would take place the week of my favorite holiday. It was a dark ominous month for me. I did not want to see anyone, I wanted to take care of my son and as I fed him in his high chair I was somber. My faith, I remember reminding myself as I sat next to his crib each night,  my faith will get me through this.
November of 2012 approached, I felt the clock ticking as I got ready to celebrate one year out from my cancer diagnosis. I would not make it past the finish line. I would be diagnosed with a recurrence.
The cancer was not going to be removed and I was stunned into silence.  I was again reminded of my faith and thankful that the warm feeling which entered me as I prayed calmed me down, gave me guidance, and helped me put one foot in front of the other.
As the year progressed, the cancer subsided, my doctors assured me as time passed cancer would not be the first thing I think about each day.
Time was the answer. I also knew too that faith was key.
November of 2013 I would have surgery to remove my ovaries as the injections to stop my ovaries from working were giving me major side effects. I was warned of this and felt removing my ovaries would be a better choice since I knew having children was out of the question when hormones were the fuel for the cancer.
I was very sad after waking up from my surgery knowing my organs that made me a woman were gone. We had hoped to have more children so Patrick would have a sibling. I had dreamed of a family of four which felt more well rounded then just one child.  Yet, this was not going to come to pass. I had to put my faith in God for understanding. It was a very emotional moment in time for me.  Yet, this time I was able to enjoy Thanksgiving as the surgery was very minor compared to what I had endured the years before. It was time to live again.
Now it is November of 2016. I have been back in chemo for the past three months or so from another recurrence. This time it was discovered in August and it did not ruin my favorite holiday. In fact, I was told yesterday from my doctor the scan I received this past week is NED. I looked at my husband and said, "Isn't it nice to be going into the holiday season with this new hope, thankfulness?" He agreed and we hugged with tears in our eyes.

My Grandma Allison (mom's side) and myself
My Grandpa Allison (mom's dad) & myself

My Great Grandma Willie & brother Jacob & myself
I cannot say this is the end of my cancer journey, most doctors would warn of the high risk for the cancer to come again. Yet, we are allowed small victories in the war as each battle is won. I don't know how much time I have before we are faced again with another uncertainty but as a friend told me, "Live your life just like you have these past couple months."  It is important to keep your faith, send your troubles to God, and put one foot in front of the other.  I believe without those years with my family gatherings, getting to know and love the people in my life who had faced uncertainty before me, and having God as my foundation  then my story would be much different. I credit my heritage and my God and this Thanksgiving there is much to be happy and thankful for...Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and I do hope you go into this holiday season with a sense of faith and thankfulness.

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